When the door opens - Storytime Part 3

*click*

Falken smiled, the door opened, and a massive wooden log shaped as a battering ram swung down straight into Falken’chest.

The kid flew back and hit the wall with a loud crack and hit the floor with a sickening thud. He felt his ribs shifting in places they shouldn’t, his lungs heaving and hurting with every single breath. The all too familiar taste of copper started sliding through his teeth after a painful cough showed him his own blood, now spattered on the floor.

Falken tried to get up, but the pain was too much. Lying face down in a pool of his own blood was not new to him. The streets of Waterdeep were ruthless and unforgiving if you didn’t know how to take care of yourself. Thugs, guards, people bigger and stronger than you in general, always found a way to remind you of your place. More often than not, your place was between the sole of their boot and the ground. He had learned to avoid these situations, to sneak away from people bigger than him, usually taking something of theirs with him as well.

This time he had messed up. He ran through all the reasons why the trap, the annoyingly simple trap, had sprung; however, as much as he thought about it, he couldn’t change the fact the trap had sprung, and now he was losing blood, fast.

His arms and legs were responding but the pain in his chest was too much to get up and move, so he started crawling towards the corridor’s wall, scraping across the stone floor. With some effort he sat upright against the wall and looked left and right, trying to weigh his options. His friends were still waiting for him downstairs, he could try and crawl his way down the stairs, it was just 4 stories down until he reached the Rookery. He wasn’t sure he would not kill himself going down those stairs, but it was the best chance at he had.

That’s when he heard footsteps.

For a second he thought there was only one set of footsteps, then he heard two, three, a whole group of people were getting up from their barracks and clattering around, probably alerted by the loud sound of the battering ram that had hit him. The trap was probably rigged to sound off some sort of alarm in a separate room in the tower as well.

Falken closed his eyes and held in a painful groan. That was it… the trap was made to seem simple so whoever looked at it would think it was easy enough to disarm, when in fact the trap was a more complex mechanism, made to disable whoever was picking the lock and to alert any nearby guards. Now he could barely move, was bleeding internally and externally, and would be a very easy mark to track down.

“If I wasn’t sturdy enough I could be a very nice wall decoration by now”

Falken closed his eyes, let out a small painful chuckle, coughed up some more blood and tilted his head back against the wall. He clutched one of the daggers he was using to pick the lock, held it against his chest and gritted his teeth. If this was it… he might as well go down fighting.

The footsteps got closer, Falken tightened his grip on the dagger and his breathing got faster. His eyesight was failing him now, he felt dizzy, and his eyes were getting foggy, everything looked white and just as suddenly as the battering ram hit him, he felt himself slip away into a cold sleep.

The fog surrounded Falken’s body and obscured the whole corridor, as Lauren entered and almost tripped over the boy’s body. She had heard the boy’s grunts as she was going up the stairs, but she also caught the sound of footsteps coming from above. Thinking fast she concentrated on the air’s moisture and added some of her own body’s water to it, creating a thick cold fog in the corridor where she presumed Falken would be. If the guards would come in she would at least have a few extra seconds to try and help the kid before they were spotted.

She had to fight her urge to audibly gasp when she finally saw Falken bloodied on the floor. She checked for a pulse and placed her cheek next to his mouth to see if he was breathing. After a second that seemed like an eternity she could feel the warm wisp of his breath on her face. Choking back her tears she placed her hand on his chest and spoke to the water spirits in the fog, and within herself to channel enough energy to bring the boy back from the brink of death. His bones started to realign themselves and the internal wounds slowly began to close. The loud footsteps startled her for a moment and broke her concentration. They were heavy, unusually thick and loud.

The Goliath stood behind her squinting through the fog

“Lauren? Is Damian with you?”

The Feathergale Spire - Stories from the campfire part 2

As they left Summit Hall on that morning Falken kept checking that every single one of his possessions was where it was supposed to be. Last time they had spent a night among unknown armed forces they ended up flying (or falling) down a deep canyon full of rocks.

“Hey kid, did you lose something?”

Falken turned to Damian and gave him a playful smile.

“No, but I believe you did.”

He showed Damian him one of his own daggers. It was actually the one the Sorcerer kept hidden most of the time. Damian gave a snort and a laugh while giving the boy an approving look.

“Well look at that. Last time someone took this dagger away from me, the one who did it had to sleep with me the night before and get me drunk as well… good job kid, keep those eyes sharp.”

Falken smiled and tossed the dagger over to Damian. He remembered that night well. He had lowered his guard just as much as the tiefling had… and would come to regret it as much as every one of them.

~ *** ~

The Feathergale Spire was a white tower that went up for what it seemed to be miles and miles up into the sky, as if signifying the desire of the cultists that inhabited it to reach the heavens and attain some sort of enlightenment from a higher power.

To Damian it was just very pretentious architecture.

The last time they had been here they came asking for information on the missing Mirabar caravan, and shared their stories with the cultists. They took them in, shared bread and salt with them, invited them to partake in a glorious Manticore hunt where they fought alongside them and brought down two of the beasts, and then they continued to celebrate their deeds for the rest of that night.

Then on the morning of the next day, they woke up, their hands tied, taken hostage by the very people they feasted with, and in Damian’s case, shared a bed with, the night before. Thulls, the captain of the “Sky Knights” as these cultists called themselves, informed them that they would be offered as a tribute to the Spirit of air. Helmdorn challenged Thulls to a sword fight to the death in exchange for their freedom and their equipment. Thulls simply laughed, and then had his henchmen throw them off the top of the Spire.

To Helmdorn they were pretentious pricks with no honor whatsoever.

A group of friendly Aaracockras had picked them up as they fell, bringing them to a safe place. That was when they realized their friend Draupnir had injured his neck when they caught him mid-air, and was now in a catatonic state. After much deliberation, the group of adventurers had to take the decision to… end his life themselves, and give him a proper burial instead of leaving him out there for the wild beasts to take him.

Shieldbuster now saw them as the ones who forced him to kill his friend. Pretentious murdering pricks who would taste death at the end of his blade.

A few nights later they had come back to the spire under the cover of night to recover their equipment and exact vengeance on these fools, or at least make sure they rued the day their paths crossed. As of now they had managed to climb up to the level where the cultists kept their flying mounts’ roost. The air cultists had a great deal of Flying creatures which they had domesticated in order to serve them as mounts, most of them being griffons, large magical  beasts with the head and wings of an eagle and the body of a lion, and giant  vultures way larger than those you would encounter out in the wild. They managed to get in and have Lauren befriend one of the giant vultures with her druidic arts. The easy part was over. From now on, stealth was going to be absolutely necessary. So Falken was sent ahead to scout the floor where the cultists’ armory was located. Lauren, Shieldbuster, Helmdorn and Damian stayed behind.

As time passed, the minutes turned into hours, and Falken was still out there.

“That’s it, we need to go help him! –Lauren said- What if he got captured?”

“Hush!! Lower you voice, I’m trying to think of something here…”

“Well Damian you can think all you want… I’m going after him”

The druid got up, left the Vulture’s roost and went down the stairs to go after the kid. Lauren had taken a liking to this kid, and had become very protective of him ever since they started to travel together, and she was not going to let him die at the hands of some pretentious murdering fools who thought they could command the forces of nature by killing innocents and offering them to some spirit in the sky, or some such nonsense. Nature was all about balance, and this construction... this temple was just another slight against nature that put everything out of balance. She would not stand for it... her very skin crawled every time she saw depictions of the sacrificial rituals on the halls of the Spire, and she shuddered as she thought about what they would do to the boy once... or if they found him.

“Those two are going to be the death of us…Shieldbuster, I’m going up to see what I can find, you stay here with Helmdorn and work on an escape plan”

Helmdorn and Shieldbuster looked back at Damian with a pair of puzzled looks and said exactly what they were thinking at the same time.

“Escape Plan?”

They were pretty high up and the chances of navigating through the spire were minimal, so coming up with an escape plan in these conditions was a daunting task to say the least.

“Look, just try to find out a way to get us out of here ok? I need to go down there and make sure they don’t wake the guards”

And with that, Damian left. Hoping that this visit to the Feathergale Spire would end up significantly less disastrous than their last.

On a floor right below the vulture’s roost, Falken had managed to slip past a couple of sleepy guards and into a room that seemed to be the cultist’s armory. Several suits of armor hung on some wooden busts, and an array of martial and simple weapons had been collected into a couple of barrels to the left and right of the room. If his eyes did not deceive him, and they usually didn’t, their equipment should be stashed away from the cultist’s regular equipment… now there was only one thing keeping him from his goal.

A simple lock, with a simple trap.

Back in Waterdeep he used to pick locks like this at least once a week. He wasn’t trespassing, he just removed obstacles from his way in order to survive. Survival usually meant “appropriating” food that he could not afford for himself. Merchants never really appreciated the way he spirited away their goods so the locks on their warehouses got more and more complex. Other street kids that did not have his skills were a lot less fortunate than him, so he always tried to help them out whenever he could, but if he needed it more than someone else, then it was his for the taking. The kid was talented like few, had a keen eye for detail, nimble hands and was quick on his feet. However, picking a lock without sounding off the alarm, moving in, taking the goods, then exiting and leaving the door with no trace of having picked the lock… THAT, was something you learned.

And His teacher taught him well

This one was a simple one though, a simple lock with a simple trap that would activate through a spring mechanism built into the lock. If you did not have they key and tried to open the lock, the trap would trigger and bad things would happen. This, of course, meant nothing for someone with Falken’s skills. He just needed to put in the pin and hook from his tool kit and twist a bit until the lock opened, all while keeping the spring mechanism from going off.

That is, if he HAD his tool kit with him. Right now his tool kit was somewhere behind this very door, and he was using two daggers to open the lock. A simple lock. With a simple trap.

*click*

Cat Herding - DM thoughts

We’ve all been there.

Scenario #1

It’s the day before the gaming session, your friends have all been looking forward to this particular session, since every plot line seems to be heading to their respective ends. Your characters have all gone through some type of development, and on top of that you are very close to leveling up. This is it guys, this game is going to change everything. After this session, our lives will be completely different, for the sole fact that so much awesome stuff is going to happen in it, that your very way of playing RPGs is going to be completely redefined.

Oh.. what’s that? Billy can’t make it because he has a family party to attend to… Oh well, no problem, it’s a shame Billy won’t be there to witness the awesome, but oh well… you really can’t expect him to leave his family hanging right?

Oh wait… If Billy can’t come, that means his girlfriend Vanessa, can’t come either. And she’s the fighter, so… oh wel we still have a reasonably strong party without the mage and the fighter right?

Wrong, because now Franck is feeling kinda sick, and he’s the healer (oh irony, thou art a soulless bitch). Virginia actually feels more like going to the beach on Saturday, and Patrick hasn’t picked up the phone in FIVE (5) DAYS!  GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER PATRICK!

By now the party feels like they should wait until everyone is able to play. So you postpone the game until everyone is able to make it to the game. Then Patrick shows up at your front door, because he didn’t know the game had been postponed.

That’s because you didn’t pick up the phone Patrick. You didn’t pick up the phone…

Get it? COZ HE LIVES UNDER A ROCK!

Scenario #2

You’ve been preparing this game for MONTHS now. About a year ago you bought the core books for a new tabletop RPG that seemed interesting at the time, but you never had the chance to actually play it. So at one point you get your friends together and mention that you have a game that you’d like to play. You get them hyped explaining the way the system works, and how the character creation process is the coolest thing since Eskimo pies. You even go as far as creating a character for each one of your friends, just so you don’t have to waste a whole night in character creation. You set a date. The weeks go by… you’re ready for this…

5 days before the game

“Hey dude, sorry but I TOTALLY forgot I had this thing I have to go to. I know the game is like a week away, but you guys can play without me right?”

4 days before the game

“Hey, I’m not sure I can make it to the game on time, there’s this thing I have with this [girl/boy] and I might be a little late, is that ok?”

3 days before the game

“Yo, can we play on [xday] instead of [the day we agreed on 2 months ago]? There’s this thing I want to go to on that day…”

2 days before the game

“Hey guys, good news. I can make it to the game, but only for like… 2 hours, I need to leave after that because of things and reasons”

1 Day before the game

“Hey has anyone seen Patrick?”

There is a Patrick in every group... right Patrick?

So you postpone, pick a better date and hope against hope that everyone will show up this time.

This, my friends, is called “Trying to get a group of geeks together to play a game of ANYTHING”. Also known as “CAT HERDING”. Now, this is not a post about how to make your friends go to ALL of your games, and get rid of scheduling problems for the rest of your life.

No, my sweet summer children…

This is a post where I tell you how to deal with this situation and learn to cope with it. In all my years as a Dungeon Master and gamer, there has always been one thing that does not vary. And that is: We geeks have a hard time getting together to play a game. There’s always a thing that gets in the way, and let’s be honest, the older you get the less free time you have to play a game. So having a job, being married, having kids, and maybe another hobby in your life will inevitably take up some, if not all of your free time.

This is a thing that happens; this is life, and there’s nothing we can do to change that. What we CAN do is develop some flexibility, tolerance and understanding.

If you players can’t get to the game, you can try to re-schedule to a date that fits everyone in the party. After all it’s no fun to get to a second session of a campaign and then suddenly you realize that some really important stuff happened while you were gone and you weren’t there to witness it. Always try to get everyone to play in your sessions. Work around your schedule and have everyone agree to a date in your calendar in which you can all play.

What if it keeps happening?

If up to 3 of your party members keep having to re-schedule or simply don’t show up. It may be time to have a serious talk with them and let them know that their absence is felt at the table. You will probably have to remove them from your group in the kindest way possible, and open up their spots to other people who might be able to play on those days. It sucks because you probably wanted to play with them, but if they can’t, then there’s no way around it.

What if I have too many games?

Maybe you have more than one game that you’re running at the moment. Sit down and analyze how much time you actually have in a week. Take away the time you need to spend on your job, then your family life, then the time you need to spend on house chores, and finally add to that the preparation time for your games. If you can barely make time to run 3 or 4 games in that week, then it’s more than likely that your players also don’t have the time to play them all. Give it some thought, and learn when to drop a campaign. No DM likes it, but hey, sometimes it’s the smartest thing to do.

What about Patrick?

Kick Patrick out of the group. He’s a great friend, we all love him, but if you’re going to be MIA for weeks and then when you do show up you mess up the gaming schedule, just let him know that once you all finish the adventure, he may re-join when you play another game as long as he commits to showing up on time and be involved in the game. But right now he’s just messing with your schedule.

In conclusion, Cat herding is always going to be present in our lives, simply because we cannot spend all of our time gaming around a table. We’re human beings and as such we all have our basic needs and sadly, tabletop gaming cannot possibly fulfill each and every one of them. As gamers (and especially if you’re a Dungeon Master) we need to be able to understand that sometimes, game night is just not going to happen. But there’s always another day, another weekend, another chance to get together and play. And if your game is interesting and compelling, your players will go out of their way to make time to go to your games.

Thanks for reading!

The Alignments - Final Thoughts

After 3 weeks, 9 alignments and several hours of writing we've finally come to a close on the alignments series. Now before you go FULL DREDD on your party next time you play D&D, or any other tabletop RPG. Here's some final thoughts on the alignment system and its practicality.

Current state (5th edition Dungeons & Dragons)

As of last year, Wizards of the Coast released the latest edition of Dungeons and Dragons, and the way alignments work has changed dramatically. Before, your  characters alignment was an integral art of how you played him or her. It used to be impossible to make a Paladin that wasn't Lawful Good, or a Sorcerer that wasn't chaotic.

As it stands the current way alignment works is only seen as a vague guideline that doesn't even define your characters. They are now defined by their background and how they act upon their bonds, quirks, personality traits, and flaws. What this means is that if you give your character a well thought out background, then THAT is what will define him.

It basically means that Chaotic Good Half-orcs can now be Paladins.

Gul'Thak kill puny man... FOR JUSTICE!!!

Neat huh?

But let's try to look a bit further from what the books say about alignment.

Alignment as guidelines for NPCs

As a Dungeon Master, it is my personal opinion that ditching the concept of Alignment in characters is not really necessary. Player characters may not have any real use for this system anymore. But NPCs can be a lot more flat in terms of character development. It helps define the way they will act during the story arc that you are narrating to your friends.

You can use the alignment system and the titles we gave them in the last three weeks, to create compelling and well defined archetypes for the NPCs in your campaigns. Do you need a Villain that is pure Evil? Go Neutral Evil (The Villain). Do you need an NPC that will serve as an instigator and a revolutionary leader that will ask for the party's assistance? Chaotic good may be the choice for your dashing Robin Hood-type rogue.

Needless to say, keeping these alignments in mind when narrating or playing out the characters in your story will make it a lot easier for you when faced with the question "How would this character react to what the players are doing?" That is not to say that your NPCs should always be flat characters that never go through any type of character development. Any believable villain or hero has its own motivations and background as well. however when you think about them as characters whose morals are aligned to one of the 9 alignments, then it becomes easier for you to narrate and present them.

Also, it sort of gives you a tool to avoid voicing all of your characters the same way. When Bob the innkeeper sounds and talks in the exact same way than Robert the fighter, and Robbie Lightfoot the halfling rogue... then you might want to start thinking a bit more about the NPCs you present in your games. The alignment table could help you to think about the different motivations all your NPCs could have before running your game, and thus making it easier to differentiate each character from each other.

Alignment as guidelines for Player characters:

Player characters are the main protagonists of your story. As such, their personality (and maybe even their moral code) should go through some kind of development as the story develops. A Lawful Neutral "Judge" may start as a hard ass, black and white judgmental type with a stick up his ass.Then, after going through some dramatic story arcs, he realizes that sometimes the law does not cover every single possibility out there. He finally learns to see the good intentions behind the more chaotic members of his party, and learns to make exceptions to the rule and look the other way when the law just doesn't make much sense.

Instead of seeing the alignments as straight jackets that put your character in a cage, try to see them as starting points. Your background choices, and your personal history as an adventurer made you take some decisions that took you down the path of Chaotic goodness, but maybe through the experiences you go through while adventuring, you end up as Neutral Good, because you realize that Chaos can sometimes hurt more people than it helps.

To this effect I think the background system of 5th Edition D&D is perfectly suited to tell your character's story in a way that is easy to present and easy to understand as well. The backgrounds could be generated randomly by using the tables in the Player's Handbook, but they could also be created on your own. This means that you can ALSO modify your bonds, flaws and personal traits as your story progresses, with your DM's permission of course. 

Sure, it's fun to play as Bob the fighter and simply hit problem X with your B.A. Sword until X is not a problem anymore, but you're playing a Role Playing Game.  This means your role as an adventurer can be SO MUCH MORE than just a "tank" or "Damage dealer". You can be an iconic character within your adventure's setting, setting an example for all adventurers that come after you (they will probably be played by you as well... cool huh?)

Batman v Superman Spoilers: They end up as BFFs. FOREVAH

So I'd like to close off the alignment series by asking you: If you're a player, what alignment will YOU be starting off as next time you play an RPG?

And if you're a DM: What type of NPC alignment is easier for you to narrate? 

(you can answer both if you want)

Thanks for reading!

The Joker - Chaotic evil

(As Nightwing pummels him) "Aw... Jeez... I hit Jason a lot harder than that. (Pause) His name was Jason, right?"

I'll be really honest with you guys. As cliché and mainstream as it may sound. To me there is only one way to describe a Chaotic Evil character. And that is doing it with the Joker in mind. 

Now… let's put a smile on that face.

Chaotic Evil is the type of dude you never want to give his morning coffee, because once he gets some energy and determination in him he will burn everything. EVERYTHING. Or he might just as well go on with his life and do nothing. These characters are the most unpredictable bad guys ever. If Lawful Evil is scary because of the way they can order regular people to do evil stuff, and Neutral Evil is scary and dangerous because their one single purpose is doing evil upon others... then Chaotic Evil is Scary and dangerous because you KNOW he wants to kill you, you just don't know how or when he's going to do it. The unpredictability of chaos added to the vile cruelty of Evil make one of the most unique types of villains in roleplaying settings, comics, tv series, movies, literature, you name it.

Unpredictability is pretty much the defining word here. Just as Chaotic Neutral is all about his own freedom, Chaotic Evil is all about his freedom to do Evil unto others. And forget about laws and morals and personal codes of conduct. These guys have none. Even when they say they have a code or a "way of doing things" they will drop their Modus Operandi in a second if it means doing what they really want to do.

Want an example? Here you go:

The dude has PRINCIPLES, he ONLY kills when it's funny! The problem with that is that his sense of humor is as sadistic and chaotic as it gets. So that kid has all the right to be scared shitless.

Here's the textbook definition:

A chaotic evil character does whatever his greed, hatred, and lust for destruction drive him to do. He is hot-tempered, vicious, arbitrarily violent, and unpredictable. If he is simply out for whatever he can get, he is ruthless and brutal. If he is committed to the spread of evil and chaos, he is even worse. Thankfully, his plans are haphazard, and any groups he joins or forms are poorly organized. Typically, chaotic evil people can be made to work together only by force, and their leader lasts only as long as he can thwart attempts to topple or assassinate him.

Chaotic evil is sometimes called "demonic" because demons are the epitome of chaotic evil.

Chaotic evil beings believe their alignment is the best because it combines self-interest and pure freedom.

Chaotic evil is the most dangerous alignment because it represents the destruction not only of beauty and life but also of the order on which beauty and life depend.

So without any further ado, here's the final piece in the chart. 2 years ago I was absolutely sure the Joker was going to be in here, and none of the other alignment examples were as clear to me as his... ok, maybe Dredd... that's the only other one that had his spot guaranteed.

HAHAHAHAHAhaHAhaHAhaHaHahAHahHaaHhaHahhaHahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHA

Leto, you better nut up for this role sir... or else no one is ever going to let you hear the end of it. 

Ok, now... since I did just flat out told you who was my choice for Chaotic Evil for this post. Here are some OTHER also chaotic evil characters from film, animation, video games and such.

Majora - The Entity from The legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask. This one needs no explanation. Suffice to say that this thing makes Ganondorf look nice.

Ramsay Bolton, from Game of thrones. This sick fucker likes flaying people alive, he loves rape, he loves murder, and excels at torturing people. Fucking. Evil

The Lich from Adventure time, whose sole goal is the destruction of ALL LIFE. He is also a Supernatural undead force, created from Nuclear waste. Can it get more Chaotic Evil than that? hmmm well..

"HeeeehehehehehehehHEHEHEHEHEHEHEhehehehhehehehehHEHEHEEHEH"

Kid Buu - Dragonball Z

And hey... you know the thing about Chaos?

It's FAIR

Thanks for reading

The Villain - Neutral Evil

"For mine own good, all causes shall give way."

Ever met an asshole in your life?

You probably have.

Today's alignment post is all about assholes and the way they see the world.

Neutral Evil is one of the most defined types of evil. I could summarize it by saying that as long as he gets his way, a Neutral Evil character will do anything as long as he can reach his goals. If that means following or breaking the law, then so be it. He will align with anyone, good, bad, tall, short, young, old, anyone who may help him further his own goals; and in the end, he will probably kill everyone who helped him get there if necessary.

These are not nice people. They don't care about anyone but themselves and they will remind you of that at every turn. As a matter of fact, if you've watched any type of cartoon there's a chance most bad guys were of this alignment.

"Next time Gadget... NEXT TIME!!!"
Dr. Claw - Inspector Gadget

"Curse you, He-Man. Some day I'll have the power to destroy you. Some day!"
Skeletor - He-Man and the Masters of the Universe

Robin: [wondering what Slade's motives were for helping Trigon take over the world] So, why did you do it? For money? Status? Those dark powers?

Slade: Not everything is so... cut-and-dry, Robin.

Robin: Selling out our world for your own personal gain seems pretty cut-and-dry to me.

Slade: With or without me, there was no stopping this.

Robin: But you played a part; And just like everything else you've ever done, it's made people suffer.

Slade: It's what I do best.

Slade - Teen Titans

Now, just as with Neutral Good, Neutral Evil is different from Chaotic Evil because they will respect law, order, and morals as long as it doesn't get in their way. Chaotic Evil, on the other hand, will burn everything and everyone including their (own) grandma on a whim. It's all about principles see?

They are Bad, ok? Evil, pure and simple. Lawful Evil and Chaotic Evil are simply two different interchangeable states of evil. Neutral Evil is PURE UNADULTERATED EVIL.

Here's the textbook definitions:

Neutral Evil can be the most dangerous alignment because such characters are willing to step on, betray, take advantage of, hurt, and kill other people to reach their goals and get what they want. The Neutral Evil have no difficulty working with others so long as their own needs are met. However, they also have no difficulty betraying former companions if there is some gain in doing so. They are also extremely susceptible to bribes.

Now, the quote at the beginning was from Macbeth... so here comes the chart:

YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE ABOUT TO SEE MACBETH BUT INSTEAD IT IS I... DIO!!

Zeppeli: "How many lives have you sucked in order to heal those wounds?"

Dio: "Do you remember how many breads you have eaten in your life?"

Oh man... THIS FUCKING GUY... if you look up "Unadulterated EVIL" on google, you get this picture in your search results:

Go watch the anime... just... go

In the first chapter of JoJo's Bizarre adventure - The Animation. Jojo, the protagonist, meets Dio, and after a quick exchange of words, Dio meets Danny, Jojo's dog. What does he do? KICKS DANNY IN THE FACE! WHAT THE HECK DIO! then later on he just goes and burns the dog alive. He does this and a whole bunch of other horrible shit just to make sure that Jojo is brought to his knees and taught a lesson about Dio's greatness. And the dude is still like 13 years old. If you still don't get he's the bad guy of the series after the first episode, then you need to go get yourself checked.

Ugh... he does know how to strike a pose though...

Thanks for reading

The Tyrant - Lawful Evil

“Some battles are won with swords and spears, others with quills and ravens.”


And now, for the more... unsavory... part of the alignment chart. 

Evil...

Lawful Evil. The Alignment that makes us all crawl with unease for the fact that it is so easy to be LED by one of these characters. Sometimes you see what they do, and you can't help but sympathize with their ways. They are cruel, tyrannical, Dictatorial, and yet somehow their way works. Because they follow an order, they follow rules and they keep chaos and Anarchy at bay.

The problem with that, is that they usually end up hurting others to get their way, they tend to have a total disregard for the suffering of others, and will do anything that is necessary, and within their moral code, to achieve success. 

These characters make for some of the best villains in any story. Mainly because they are Evil because they see it as a necessity. It's not unusual to read a book, or watch a tv-series and feel in a way charmed by a character who does HORRIBLE things, but still has a certain charm and well educated demeanor that keeps you wanting to see more of him or her.

Let's take a look at what most Rulebooks say about Lawful Evil, and their particular way of "Following a code".

Some lawful evil villains have particular taboos, such as not killing in cold blood (but having underlings do it) or not letting children come to harm (if it can be helped). They imagine that these compunctions put them above unprincipled villains.

Some lawful evil people and creatures commit themselves to evil with a zeal like that of a crusader committed to good. Beyond being willing to hurt others for their own ends, they take pleasure in spreading evil as an end unto itself. They may also see doing evil as part of a duty to an evil deity or master.

Lawful evil creatures consider their alignment to be the best because it combines honor with a dedicated self-interest. Lawful evil is the most dangerous alignment because it represents methodical, intentional, and frequently successful evil.

Frequently successful evil... scared yet? no? 

Let's look at the chart.

And so he spoke... and so he spoke...

“Joffrey, when your enemies defy you, you must serve them steel and fire. When they go to their knees, however, you must help them back to their feet. Elsewise no man will ever bend the knee to you. 

Tywinn Lannister - A Storm of Swords

Lord Tywinn Lannister, Hand of the King, Lord of Casterly Rock, Warden of the West, Lord Paramount of the Westerlands, Savior of the City and Protector of the Realm. Tywinn follows a very strict code where he puts his family's name in fron of everything. Lannisters must rule, no matter what. He sticks to protocol whenever it is needed, and was smart enough to manipulate the Freys into killing Robb Stark. He pretty much had Westeros all for himself until Tyrion put a bolt in his gut.

But he was like-able wasn't he?

I'll leave you with a final thought.

The real danger in a Lawful Evil character is not how evil they are ... but their ability to have others do evil for him. A study in the 1960s by Yale psychologist Stanley Milgram seeked to find exactly how much harm a regular person could inflict upon another one after being ordered to do so by a person in a position of perceived authority. Here's the Crash course psychology video that explains the experiment and the results thereof.

Scared yet?

Thanks for reading...

So you want to play Dungeons and Dragons...

But Julio! – you say- I’ve never played Dee Enn Dee before! What’s an Arr Pee Gee? You make it sound so fun and epic and I wish to learn more!

Well, my friends there’s a many ways I could describe how you play D&D (or any other type of tabletop RPG). If you can get together with some friends and play, that’s the best way to learn the game. You need at least 4 (maybe 3) people to play the game, one of which needs to act as a Dungeon Master. Groups could be bigger than that, although I would advise you to keep your groups below 6 or 7 players.

Basically, you and a group of friends will get together, and play out a story. One of you will be the "referee" or "judge", and the rest of you will play a part in the story. You will most likely use dice to determine how good your character is at doing the things he or she does, and you will keep your character's skills, strengths and weaknesses on a character sheet.

Before you begin:

You should have a character creating session with your group, in which you will decide what type of hero or adventurer you will play. I'm assuming you already have the core book(s) for the game you want to play, these should have enough information for you to make the character you want to play.

After making your characters, you and your friends need to agree on what type of game you want to play. If you leave this up to your DM, that’s fine, but it always helps to give him an idea of what type of story you’d like to play. Or what type of story your characters are going to be involved in for the duration of your campaign or adventure. Keep in mind that an adventure can take months, and a full-fledged campaign could take years to complete. So make sure to tell your DM what makes your character want to be an adventurer. 

Now, with that in mind, here’s some tips for when you start playing.

Fun fact: My mom was actually a pretty badass cleric in one of my sessions

Be present

The most important thing to remember when playing a tabletop RPG, is to pay attention.

Pay attention to what your DM is saying. He’s describing the world around you, the actions of the people around you, and repercussions of those actions. Failing to pay attention to the DM will cause him or her to have to keep describing everything over and over again to you. After a while, this becomes tiresome both for the DM and for the other players, it slows the game down. And, as you will soon know, slowing the game down is the first of many things you should avoid around a gaming table.

This should go without saying, but you should also pay attention to what the other players say. They also play a (major) part in the story, just like you. So, in the same way that you want people to listen to how great your character is, you should listen to how awesome their characters are.

Know your character

Look, everyone gets a free pass for the first few sessions. But if it’s been 4 months, playing twice per month, and you STILL don’t know what you should roll to hit with your weapon/spell/skill then your friends are going to start to hate you, and eventually you might notice that your character will be the focal point of all the enemies’ attacks (hint hint, your DM hates you too).

How do you avoid being that character? Well, get invested! There are books that cover game mechanics that could help you get familiarized with the game, but if you ask your friends and pay attention (See: Be Present) you will have no problem remembering basic game mechanics after a few sessions. And if your DM brought paper and pencils, you can also make quick notes on the “Notes” part of your character sheet. 

You could also grab a separate piece of paper and keep a personal journal for your characters. Your Dungeon Master is (or should be) absolutely obsessed with office supplies by now. So ask for a few loose pieces of paper, a pencil and a stapler and boom, you now have a character journal, which should help you out when trying to keep track of several details within the game, character traits, equipment, plot points, you name it.

And Finally:

Be nice

No one gives up 4 to 6 hours of their weekend to have a bad time. Be nice to the other players and your Dungeon Master.  This is a group you will be meeting for several days a month, and you guys should be able to at least get along. I’m not going to give you a list of things you should or not say around a tabletop RPG table, because common courtesies and good manners are learned at home.

If you’re nice, you’ll see how more and more people will want to have you in their games.

If you’re a douchebag, your DM will eventually take you aside and politely tell you that he and the other players don’t want to play with you anymore. On account of how much of a douche you are.

That’s it. Everything I just wrote can be summarized in three simple points: Pay attention, know your character, and be nice.

Now that I’ve given some basic tips for new GMs and players, I’ll leave the the next topic open to you guys. Last time I got two awesome and very creative suggestions for future posts. “cat herding” and “What do I do if my players want to be murderhobos?”

I think I'll address these suggestions/questions in a post where I'll talk about dealing with certain kinds of players. Until then, I hope you enjoy playing Dungeons & Dragons, or any other type of Role Playing Game, and as always...

Thanks for reading